My first Christmas night in 14 years without Rajeev was not a happy one! Yes I missed him mighty, and didn’t realise I’d do till the night came and slumber called eyes to join.  So it was just me, the twinkle of the tree, the sparkle of baubles caught in my eyes, and candles by the crib.
It was Christmas night and I just couldn’t go to sleep. No, not yet.  So I pulled myself up and poured myself a glass of wine, put on Eagles – Please come home for Christmas, followed by Elvis – Lonely this Christmas.  After these two numbers I thought I’d do myself some good by putting on something more cheerful than songs of lone Christmas’s.  So very quickly I jumped to Jingle Bell Rocks and White Christmas and other happy Christmas songs but in a very low volume,  what else – a movie should be good.  Oh, but what about the heat…. I hate a hot Christmas night.  Christmas and heat don’t go hand in hand for sure.  Not from where I come, though I am beginning to get the hang of it that half the world does celebrate a hot Christmas, and there are even people who prefer it so.  Nah, but not for me.  Turning on the aircon to the lowest cooling and wrapping myself up in a blankie was fun and I was already feeling better. My heart suddenly went out to all those people who really really have a lonely life, and have no one to share their Christmas with. It must be heartbreaking to spend a lonely Christmas when the world is filled with love, warm hugs, sweet kisses and cozy cuddles.  God bless those people, and may everyone find someone to spend their Christmas with.
Flicking through the channels I found something that would make me mushy over the season, and I swear I was lucky it had just begun – The Holiday.  So I cried and smiled through the movie, musing over friendship and love. When it got over I flicked the channels again to look for something else.  This time I landed on something unlikely for the season – Valentines Day.  Yesssss,  who watches this on Christmas night , but I did, and I loved the romanticism.  ….and I adore Julia for her overboard but killer smile, and Cooper for his Greek God looks (albeit gay in the movie).  The movie is full of rom-com clichés but that’s perfectly perfect for me.  Life is all about loving and laughing – ain’t it?
Way, way past midnight and done with watching movies….aaaahhh, sleep still seemed a far cry. So I decided it would be best to read myself to sleep.  So here I am wallowing in a room temperature of 16 deg Celsius (only coz the aircon wouldn’t go any lower!) trying to forcefully feel a cooler Christmas night, with The White Masai (dont get me wrong – its a book) in my hand and Aerosmith’s “Don’t want to miss a thing” in the background.  Maybe I do sleep right away, or maybe in a while….. I know eventually I will….hoping that next Christmas I will be in some place cooler and not alone on Christmas  night.  Hoping that I will never ever have to spent another Christmas without him.
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