A lot of hullabaloo comes in with the new year. Right from setting big plans for the eve, the last night of the year – good food, a great party, the desire to be with your best pals and family at that moment of time when the clock strikes 12. Wooohooooo, the screams, the shouts, the hugs, the kisses………its all very exciting. From that moment on till about a month or so, every known person who you meet for the first time in the New Year, gets a tighter hug and a warmer greeting. Its strange, that you will be benevolently bestowing that paparazzi smile to the most detested of people just and just because you have resolved to be a better person. Oh, and of course, you don’t want to break that resolution right away. Let the New Year settle in, scores can be settled later on in the year.
I am a person who doesn’t believe in New Year Resolutions. For me, if I cant do it during the year, the change of year cannot still make me do it. The only thing that can make me do it, is “me”, and for that the date, month or year is irrelevant. Honesty at its best! And c’mon tell me, that isint true. Touch your heart and say that you never knew that the “resolution” you made this year is going to be broken. I was tired of making resolutions just for the heck of it, and just because people all over the world were doing so, and therefore a few years back I made a resolution – “never to make a New Year resolution”! But read on, see how it all changed.
At dusk, as I stood by the waters at Slipway, the Sermon in Church this morning resonated in my ears……there’s something good about “new”. Yes its exciting, there’s a fresh smell to new things – new cloth, a new shoe, a new look, a new relationship…….anything new does have that penchant to stir you up and turn you on. So why should I be so dull and insipid when it comes to a New Year and looking upto what I can do new this year. Why cant I too be submerged in that whole cliché of New Year Resolutions? I mean, after all, there is a lot to look forward to.
Closing my eyes, and standing by the shore, I allowed the gentle gurgling of the waters to caress my soul. It was almost musical to hear the placid waves strike the shore ever so gently, yet affirming its presence. The gentle splash against the coral walls, the rhythmic rise of the tide and slap back into the ocean. There was a boisterous party on at a nearby restaurant, but trust me the blaring music was drowned by the balmy whisper of the sea. There was a lone boat right rocking itself from side to side dancing to the ripple the waves were creating. For a second my mind went out to the owner of the boat, who was so sure that the boat will survive the tides of the sea all on its own. The already darkening sky was further darkened by a thick blanket of clouds, almost as if ready to wrap it arms around the sea, tucking it into the depths of the night. It might rain, it might not………I don’t know. But something in my heart tells me that the boat will still be there tomorrow morning too, having survived the night – et all. Are we all not like that boat, rocked and ruffled by the perils of this world, facing the thunderstorms of life. We do make it out of them all, because our Creator knows us all too well, knowing how much we can take.
My thoughts were interrupted by a strong arm pulling me close, and as I leaned my head over his chest I was thankful for the sense of security it gave my world. I was thankful for the joys of being loved and taken care of. I was thankful for being right where I am and with whom I am.
Imperfection comes easily to me. I carry the bitterness from past hurts in my heart. The mention of a name, or the vision of a face makes me flinch. There are people I detest, but still need to smile. There are people in my life who I carry around like a burden. Its not easy to smile for those people, its not easy to not have a “devil-may-care” attitude and not to say those dangerous words that may ease your pain and intensify those of others. Its not easy to “just let go”. But you know, in the end all the hurts you carry and the people you dislike only does one thing, and that is – weigh you down. I thought, life is not worth nurturing so much acrimony.
As I examine myself, I realize I really am not sufficient on my own to be bold enough to give up hurts, wars and ego clashes. After all, I am just human, and erring comes oh so naturally to all humans, including me. I need someone, who will just make it easy for me in this journey of life. Who else would it be, but my Creator. Put God first, and everything will fall in place. Yes, that’s exactly what I need to do in my New Year. I have failed myself in doing so, and most of the times, try making my own adjustments and judgements and even my own punishments. Yiiikeees! And the results have been pretty devastating. I have regretted being there and done that, or said that (for that matter!), and I wished I had just kept my big mouth shut and allowed God to handle things instead of “yours truly”.
So this year, I do wish to resolve, albeit late by 2 days! I resolve to be a better person, nourished by God’s word and have his light shine through me. I resolve to bite my tongue and seal my lips and not breathe fire out of my mouth. I resolve to be less hurt and give people the benefit of doubt, and even if I know the hurt was intentional, just “let it go”, all because I know, in the end it just doesn’t matter. I resolve to win every hate with love, and return every smirk with a toothful smile……not because I want to be a Saint, but because God wants me to do so.
I also wish to say sorry to anybody reading, or not reading if I have hurt them in any which way – knowingly or unknowingly. I am not the kind of person to hurt knowingly though, but still……….
Am hoping that by the end year someone will be able to tell me that some of my resolutions did spread a smile instead of knit-brows, even if it was just one I’d consider it worth the while.
Wishing all my friends (and foes alike) a blessed New Year 2016. May the love of Jesus Christ shine in your life and touch you in ways that you never thought possible. Don’t forget to make your own resolution, though anytime you realize you need to make a change in yourself, just do so bang on (please do not wait for 1st Jan 2017).
A New Year is a great time to look forward to a whole new 12 months. Even before you know it, it will be the end of the year.