But do we really choose our friends? Or are they people who come along life’s roadways and spread some smiles, offer a hand, wipe your tears or make you cry. There are some who even break hearts and trusts, and leave you weak and dismayed.
“Man is a social animal” – so says a biological or social proverb and its true. We all crave for social interaction and thus we make friends. Right from our life’s beginning we have made friends.
As babies or little children we did not mind the caste, creed, religion, colour, monetary status of the people we had fun with or gelled along with. I was happy gurgling at the old gentleman who very fondly entertained sitting next to me, whilst I jumped up and about in my moms lap, who by the way is my best friend. As a child I never minded whose the leg was, which became my pillar, clinging onto which I stood up and tried to walk wobbly steps. It could have been a nanny, or a sweeper or just anyone who lent a helping leg!! I just didnt give a thought.
In a new classroom, first day in school, my best friend was the teacher, who looked just like mommy. When my little mind could not comprehend why she left us in this room filled with strange crying faces, the only grown up woman who talked sweetly to me was my best friend. I just wished she wouldnt talk to anybody but me.
Slowly the classmate sitting next to me became my friend. She is the one I sit with every day. She smiles at me, and I smile at her and we hold hands when singing nursery rhymes. We look at each other while shouting A, B, C, D……..Z and hugged each other when we missed mommy so much.
Soon friendship was all about sharing tiffin boxes, and whispering behind standing books on the tables. It was running and laughing and playing till we almost died. It was jealousy “why did you say hye to her, dont you know she pushed me one day!”. It was television “did you see Star Trek yesterday – ohhh it was so thrilling”. It was getting drenched in the rain, it was walking home from the bus stop, it was going for tuitions together, it was laughing at the fat lady whose arms looked like a wobbly jelly with every step she took.
As we grew up we looked around for those who we could connect with. “Aaah you love Mills n Boons – me too”. “I cant wait for the tall dark and handsome prince to come and sweep me off my feet”. It was dresses, makeup, the boy next door, music. It was laughing nonsensically till there were tears streaming down our cheeks, and then you think back you wonder why you were even laughing in the first place. It was heartbreaks and the tears accompanying them, those endless phone calls of consolation and “dont cry please….its okay…..he didnt deserve you”.
Oh, and by now, the caste, colour, creed and money has started creeping in. You didnt think I’d miss that – did you? However, I will say that these are initial factors, whilst you come close to a person, You might just overlook them in the long run, depending on what kind of person you yourself are. Honestly if you are like me, these factors just dont matter, I connect from the heart, and those who know me, know that. But I mentioned it, just coz I know there are many out there who keep these factors in mind while looking for friends, and it amazes me.
Office brought colleagues who helped and cheered. Who laughed and shopped till you dropped dead. It also brought people who you thought were friends, but turned they just used you all along the way, and you were too naive to realize that. It left your faith shaken, and you promised to tread carefully.
Over the years, I have realized that whilst you need friends, there just cannot be a perfect friend.
There is someone who you can chatter endlessly, but then there is someone you will hardly speak but she understood all that you wanted to say. There is someone who you will go to for a great laugh, or a movie outside, but then there is someone with whom you would like to quietly sip a cup or tea as the sun goes down. There is someone who you might not speak to for months, but she will be the first one you call when you are feeling low. There is someone who fills your life with laughter and chatters endlessly everyday without fail and you feel an emptiness when the bell didnt ring today, but there is someone who you might speak to just once a year and yet feel so bonded and close. There is a person who will give you the wisdom of life and there is someone who brings out the mischievous you. There is someone who wipes your tears and there is someone who makes you cry. There is someone who knows the dirty side of you, a person to whom you will go and wash all the dirty linens. She knows your deepest darkest secrets and yet it need not necessarily be someone who you hang out with all the time.
With technological advancement there is also the e-friend…..who you might never just meet in your life, but you know they are there. These are usually the ones who you vent out to or the bare it all kinds. Because they give you the freedom of never being seen in the real world – at least to a certain extent.
There is also someone who passed by your life, taught you a lesson and left, just the way she came in. But you can never forget what was taught and the person. Even those who broke your trust taught you something, or gave you moments of joy or a sense of belonging …..thats why you still remember them.
So thats my world of friendship. You see, I have seen all kinds – the good, the bad, the ugly.
On this friendship day I want to thank all those who are more than just a name on my friend list on my FB profile and some who dont belong to FB. Thank for being a part of my life and sharing my joys and sorrows. Thank those who provide encouragement and those who are jealous too. Thank you those you really love me from the heart irrespective of my overweight body and brown skin, and thank you those who just throw fake smiles at me and utter below the tongue “there she is……” Thank you those who walked by my side on life’s flimsiest and thinnest roads, and thank you those who vanished away to oblivion when I most needed them – I now know not to expect.
Thank you God for knowing me inside out and knowing my deepest fears and my highest dreams – you are my best friend, and thank you for bringing these people in my life who I call “FRIENDS” by virtue of being just human.
Happy Friendship day everyone and here’s my share on the warmth of friendship. Prawns in a jiffy which are flavourful and a great treat for your friends, when they drop in unannounced.
Preparation time – 2-3 minutes
Cooking time – 10 minutes .
Serves – 2
For the marination
250 grms – prawns
1 tspn salt
1 tspn turmeric
1 tspn red chilli powder (optional)
if you are not using red chilli powder just use 1 tspn paprika instead for the colour
1 tbspn oil
4 cloves garlic
1 inch ginger
1 onion finely chopped
1 tbspn tomato paste
1 tspn fennel powder
1/4 tspn garam masala powder
a big pinch cardamom powder
Take the deveined and cleaned prawns in a bowl and drop in all the ingredients of the marinade and mix well and keep aside
In a skillet add the oil, when hot add in the grated garlic and when almost burnt but not burnt add the onion and cook till tender and pinkish brown.
Now add the tomato paste and cook well.
Add the fennel powder, garam masala and mix well.
Add in the prawns and grated ginger and cook for about 5- 7 minutes
Add the cardamom powder, and the lime juice
Mix well and allow another 2 minutes in the skillet.
Serve as a side to rice or chappatis