I dont know how some people have the mind to think that they can walk up to anyone they feel like, say whatever they have in mind, and walk out of the space just the way they came barging in! You know, like some kind of angelic appearances, though the words and expressions used in such situations are nothing less than satanic. I have more often than not, faced such people in life. And there I have stood, hearing every word they had to say with my mind raging a cat-fit and my tongue waiting to spit out nothing less than lava. I have so often in such situations surprised myself by doing nothing but bending my head down, or staring expressionlessly into the persons eyes and doing nothing more than that. Either I walk away or the person does. The sequel to this being tears – more or less, silent or auricular depending upon how much pain was caused.
I am sure we all have experienced that kind of pain, the kind of pain that feels as if your heart it being torn out from your ribs………as if there’s something fighting to rip your body open and come out shattering every bit of you……….as if the emotion that you are feeling at that moment is chocking you right at the throat and you are left gasping for breath.
Pain is such a strong emotion. While physical pain can leave your mind as soon as its over, the kind of pain I am talking about fails to leave you for a longer time, because its your soul that was hurt and not your body.
Time is a great healer. However ghastly the wounds were, however irreparable the loss was, however shattered you were at that moment – you do heal. Some slowly, some faster than others – but we all do heal. Sometimes there are angels in the form of humans who help us heal. Sometimes it is we ourselves who pick up the pieces and throw them in the bin to move forward.
I have known people who suffered pain in the past allow them to harden themself. I really wish it was not that way. Pain should never harden you, or cut you off from experiencing life. or those realtionships, or take those chances once again – infact they should soften you towards life, while keeping you alert. They should prepare you to be the one to hold someone else going through that pain. Some people turn bitter, I tell them – become better. Bitterness never helped anybody, it just filled your heart with venom, which never did you any good, and never allowed the good to come out of you.
Leave the pain behind and it will leave your heart and soul. Give it all up at the feet of the Cross, where Jesus died for you.
I say that because I know there is God, and there is Jesus.
Sometimes people ask me how can you be so sure that there is God.
I say its because he listens to me all the time.
I left home for a Bible study this morning totally stressed out. I met up this lovely lady Priscillia (our Pastor’s wife) and it was like a balm on my tired soul. We had some great conversation, where we shared everything from how cold the water in the pool is to pollen in Texax, and I returned home fresher than I have felt in ages! Before I had left home, I had prayed. I just said “Jesus, I need you to reach out”, and he did in the form of Priscillia.
There have been umpteen number of times when I really need the sun to be out, for just stupid things like going shopping. I dont wanna be shopping in the rain……. and I just look up and say “Heavenly father, the clouds move where you ask them to, tell them to go away, and let me enjoy the day” – and I have seen them disappearing as if He just breathed them away. I really feel like a little pampered girl asking her Daddy to get the moon for her, and he just got it, just because he would do anything for her.
Sometimes I just want it to rain, and I just pray “God I just want a little rain”, and it has!
I am not saying that every time my little heart wants rain, it rains. No it doesnt. But then there are those times when you really feel connected with God, there are times you really ask with so much faith, and you know its just that sign you need in your life to know that HE is indeed there, that these things happen. God’s never let me down, and I know he never will. Everytime I feel the ship is sinking, he’s just around the corner waiting for me to just ask. Ask with the innocence of a child, asking of her heavenly father. Ask with the faith that moves mountains and rips off the river into two, asks with the faith to strike water from the rock and walking on water.
So I thank God today for all the pain that I experience from time to time, just so that I can stay connected to Him. I thank him for all the people who make me experience that pain, because without them I may have never experienced the love of God the way I did. I thank God for the blessings bestowed even though I am not deserving of them. I thank God for making me realize that we are all human beings and we will err as long as we live, and that we have Jesus through whom we have eternal life and salvation.
I thank God for my life, and I also thank God for yours. May you be blessed today and see the light that shines within you …….may you see the light of God.